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To save: Click here if you would like to download Skits. Click here if you would like to download the Entire Set. Greetings in the name of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. If you are like me, you are probably tired of forking out a lot of money for curriculum that is just not worth it !!! I know that many of you have good ideas and quality programs, but you need some new and fresh ideas to use every once in a while. God has put on my heart to write down some of the best ideas we have had in the past 15 years, to pass them on to others. Jesus said, "Freely ye have received, freely give", and being the God didn't charge us for the ideas He gave, we aren't going to charge, but give to others what He has given to us. We also suggest, and ask that you come up with your own names in the place of the names you will find on the following pages. This will allow for your Children's Church to be unique, and fitted to your own personalities and characters. If every church had a puppet with the same name, yet they all looked and sounded different, this would seem strange to a child who might visit your church on one particular Sunday. If you have enjoyed this curriculum, please feel free to duplicate it and give it to others. This ministry's purpose is to get kids to Jesus, and to get the words of Jesus to the kids. Also, if you have any ideas you would like to share, please send them in, and we gladly will pass them on. Peter says in II Peter 1:12-15 that he continually put the people in remembrance of God's truths even though they already knew them and were established in those truths, so that when he would go on to be with the Lord, the people would have those truths firmly and deeply rooted in their minds. In the same way, we in the Children's Ministry need to continually put our kids in remembrance of Jesus and His truths, even though they think they know it all and are established in those truths, so that when they leave our Sunday School, they will always have these truths firmly and deeply rooted in them, and be able to stand strong in the faith of their Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. If you have found this curriculum helpful, or if you haven't, please email us and let us know what you think. Your opinion is not only desired, but needed. clunky@fishersofkids.com Now, God bless you as you minister unto God's children.
Dan Harris
(Characters: Joshua, Mom, Sis, and new friend.) Sis comes in and begins to play. Joshua and his friend come in looking for Mom. Josh asks Sis if she knows where Mom is at. Sis says, "I don't know. Why are you looking for her?" Josh tells her that he and his friend want to go out and play adventurers down by the old creek bridge. Sis tells Josh that he knows Mom won't let him, and just then Mom comes in. Joshua is on his best behavior, and asks Mom if he can go down to the old creek bridge and play. He tells her that he will be back before supper, and that he will even clean his room afterwards without being told. Mom tells Josh that the old creek bridge is too dangerous, and that if they want to play adventurers, they can go down to the park. Josh begs, but to no avail. Mom leaves and tells the kids that supper is at 6:00. Joshua’s friend asks if he is ready to go, and Josh tells him that his Mom just said he couldn’t. His friend tells Josh that his mom wouldn't let him go either, but that what his Mom doesn't know won't hurt her, and he is going anyway. He then asks Josh if he is scared. Josh says no, and they decide to go. Josh tells Sis not to tell, offering her a nickel if she doesn't, and a knuckle if she does, a knuckle sandwich that is. All three kids leave. Later, Josh comes in crying and wet, with a scratch on his face and elbow (use ketchup). Mom comes in and asks what happened. Josh tells her, and Mom explains to him that is why she didn't want him to go down there. Sis comes in at this time. Mom pulls out two candy bars and gives one of them to Sis. She tells Josh that the other was going be for him, but because he didn't obey, she will just have to save it for another time. She asks Josh if he has learned his lesson. Josh says yes, and the two of them leave to clean Josh up. Sis leaves also. (Characters : Joshua, Mom, and Billy.) We hear Josh and Billy playing in the background, talking about hitting the baseball over the house. Josh throws the ball, and Billy hits it. We then hear the sound of glass breaking (break a glass jar) and Josh and Billy getting upset about breaking a window. Josh and Billy come out on stage. They come in talking about the window, and then realize that they are walking on, and tracking up the freshly shampooed carpet that Mom said not to walk on wearing shoes. They quickly take off their shoes and throw them out the window. They begin to argue with each other about the window, Josh telling Billy that he was to hit the ball over the house, not through it. Josh then sees Mom's camera (an old already broken camera) setting on the table, and he picks it up and tells Billy that he is going to take a picture of him. Billy, who is holding a ball, throws it at Josh, who drops and breaks the camera to catch the ball. They put the camera back, and begin to realize how much trouble they are in, when Mom comes in. Mom asks the boys what happened to the window. Billy starts to tell the truth, but Josh hits him, knowing that the boys are not to play ball next to the house, and begins to tell a lie, "While we were down at Billy's house playing ball, we thought we saw Bully walking next to the house, and a couple of minutes later we heard the sound of glass breaking. I told Billy, 'I think Bully broke a window at our house' and I remember the exact words the Billy said, 'Yea.' So that is what must have happened. You know what a bad kid that Bully is." Mom believes the lie. Mom then looks at the carpet and asks who it was that tracked dirt all over the living room. Billy begins to tell the truth, but Josh hits him and tells another lie, "As you can see Mom, Billy and me took our shoes off before we came into the house. But after we heard Bully breaking a window, I thought I saw him going into the house. He probably got mud on his shoes on purpose, and walked all over the living room just to be mean. I even said to Billy 'Hey that looks like Bully going into our house.' And I remember the exact words that Billy said, 'Yea.' So we are sure it was that Bully kid." Mom looks at the boys kind of funny, but still believes them. She then goes to pick up the camera only to find it broken, and asks the boys what happened to her camera. Once more Billy begins to tell the truth, but Josh hits him and tells another lie, "After we saw Bully come into the house, I thought I heard the sound of a camera breaking. I even said to Billy 'Hey Bill, does that sound like a camera breaking to you?' and I remember the exact word he said, 'Yea!' When that big mean Bully came into the house, after he stomped around tracking mud everywhere, he must have seen the camera and picked it up and threw it on the ground just to be mean." Mom begins to doubt them, but she can't prove it, so she believes them. Mom then leaves. Billy then says, "Boy Josh, why did you tell your mom all of those lies?" Josh replies, "If Mom knew the truth about the window, she would never let you come over the play again, and concerning the carpet, she said a hundred times 'Josh don't come in today with your shoes on.' and if she knew that we were the ones that broke her camera, I would get a spanken. You know how the old saying goes, what she don't know won't hurt us." Josh and Billy leave as Mom sticks her head in the window and says, "I knew something was up." (Someone comes out with a sign that says two days later.) Josh and Billy come out all excited because today is the day that Mom usually gives them some money to go to the store to run some errands for her, and then gives them a couple extra dollars to buy themselves some candy. Mom comes in, and Josh tells her that they are ready to go the store. Mom tells them that she found out what happened to the window, carpet and camera, and that she already gave the job to Sis, because she obviously can't trust the boys. They say that they are sorry, but Mom tells them that they are going to have to prove themselves trustworthy if they are to get that or any job back. They all leave. 23. THOU SHALT NOT STEAL (2:3) (Characters : Joshua, Billy, Store Clerk, and a police Officer. The skit takes place at a local grocery store.) (Someone comes out with a sign that says, "Day 1") Josh and Billy are outside the store, talking about the possibility of stealing a piece of candy, because neither one of them have any money. They go into the store, and while Billy distracts the clerk, Josh sneakily grabs two pieces of candy. They leave the store, and are proud of their accomplishment. (Someone comes out with a sign that says, "Day 2") The two boys are back at the store, except this time they are planning on stealing two candy bars. (Something a little bigger than the small pieces of candy they stole on day 1.) Again, they go into the store, and as Billy distracts the Clerk, Josh steals the candy bars, and again they do it without being caught. The boys leave, bragging on how good they are. (Someone comes out with a sign that says, "Day 3") The boys are at the store, and this time they are planning on stealing a small toy. The results are the same as days 1 and 2 with Josh stuffing the toy under his shirt, except this time after they leave, the clerk calls the police and asks them if they could come to the store the following day after school. (Someone comes out with a sign that says, "Day 4") We find the boys outside, this time planning on stealing a bunch of toys. They have done so good on the previous days they think they will never get caught. Once again, they enter the store and as Billy distracts the Clerk, Josh begins to take the toys, and put them under his shirt. This time they is caught by the Police Officer the clerk called the day before (The Police Officer can be a plain clothes Officer.) The skit ends with the Police Officer taking the kids to their parents, telling them that they are going to have to pay for all the things they have stolen by working for the store clerk for the next two weeks every day after school. (One lesson we can point out to the children is that with things like stealing, though it usually begins with something small, it inevitably grows into something bigger.) 24. NO OTHER GODS BEFORE ME (2:4) (Characters : Joshua, Sis, and Billy. You will need a tape recorder and a prerecorded tape.) Josh and Sis come out with their collection of baseball cards. Billy comes over and listens as they tell him how good their baseball card collection is. Billy then pulls out the baseball card of a (fictitious) famous baseball player. Josh's eyes get big because he is not only his favorite baseball player, but he knows that in a couple of years that baseball card will be worth a lot of money. Josh asks Billy if he would be willing to sell it to him. Billy tells Josh that he looked up the price of the card and found out that it is now worth $20.00. He tells him that he will sell it to him for the $20.00 and the baseball card of another fictitious baseball player who happens to be Billy's favorite player. Josh opens his piggy bank and finds that he has $20.00 on the nose, so after trying to con Billy down on the trade without success, and struggling with himself for a minute, he decides to make the trade. Sis steps in and tells Josh that he hasn't paid his tithes on that money that he earned for mowing lawns and washing cars yet, and that he should wait and buy the card later. Josh tells her that this particular card continues to go up in price every day, and if he waits a week, it will cost him $25.00 and two baseball cards. Sis continues to try and persuade him, but to no avail. Josh and Billy make the swap, and both of them leave very happy. (Someone comes out with a sign that says "The Next Day") Josh comes out all excited about his cards, and Sis comes out listening to the radio (actually the tape recorder with pre-taped songs and announcement on it). Josh tells her to turn it off, when he hears a news flash. The news man tells how Josh's favorite player was arrested for beating up an old lady, and then kicking her little grand daughter. He also says that he has been kicked out of baseball, and that his new baseball card valued at $25.00 has just dropped to .08 cents. Josh is awestruck, and can't believe it. Sis tells him that if he would have listened to her and put God first, he wouldn't have lost all his money. They both leave. (Characters : Joshua and Billy. You will need a TV, a VCR, and a prerecorded news announcement.) Josh comes out, looks at his watch, and then calls up Billy asking him if he wants to come over and watch the ball game on TV. He also asks him if he wants to come a little early to play a little ball before the TV game begins. Billy comes over, and as the boys begin to play, they get into an argument about who gets to pretend to be Johnny Money (a pretend superstar athlete who is playing on the TV game). They get mad at each other, but then stop and excitedly turn on the TV because the game is about to start. There is a news flash (done earlier on a tape, or someone behind the stage with a microphone) that says, "We have just learned that the great superstar Johnny Money was arrested last night in connection with selling drugs to teenagers. We repeat, the great super star Johnny Money was arrested last night in connection with selling drugs to teenagers. Consequently he will not be playing on today's televised game." The boys turn off the TV and then get into another argument saying, "OK, your Johnny Money" and the other saying, "Oh no, you wanted to be him." They then leave still arguing. (Characters : Joshua, Mom, Sis, Billy, and Superstar " GI Jim".) Joshua and Billy come out playing army, pretending to be the super hero army guy, " GI Jim." They are pretending to shoot each other and everyone else. Mom comes out, and they begin to spy on Mom, who begins to get annoyed with them after a while. The boys then start talking about how " GI Jim" is going to be in town next week, and how much they would love to go see him in person. The boys ask Mom if she will take them, and she says yes, if they will quit spying on her and their sister. The boys agree and they all leave. (Someone comes out with a sign that says "One Week Later at the Mall.") The boys come out all excited about their chance of seeing " GI Jim", while Sis on the other hand could really care less. There is a sign that points behind the stage, which leads them to where " GI Jim" is, and they leave to find him. (What goes on next can either be done in the open with someone playing " GI Jim", or else done so that the kids can't see, but just hear what goes on. **Some times the children's imaginations can be better than watching.) The boys go up to " GI Jim" and ask him for his autograph, but he gets mad at them for stepping on his toe. The boys get excited, and then accidentally knock over something he has there, and he gets madder at them, even calling them names. Sis then goes up and uninterestingly asks for an autograph, and he says "Hey baby, anything for a doll like you." He then asks what she is doing for lunch. The kids then leave, saddened by this realization that what they see on TV as a kind All American Hero, is really a snob and a jerk. (Characters : Joshua, Sis, Billy, and Bully.) (The skit begins with the sound of a school bell ringing.) Bully comes out with a baseball bat and tells the kids that he is supposed to go to his little league practice after school. He tells the kids that this is his lucky bat, that he once even hit a homerun with it. He then realizes he left his baseball mitt in his locker at school, and puts down the bat to go get his mitt. Josh, Sis and Billy come running out excited that school is out for the weekend. As they are goofing around and playing ball, Billy sees Bully's bat and begins to play with it. Just then Bully comes back out, sees Billy and gets very upset. Bully starts to hit Billy for touching his bat, but stops because he realizes he is on school property, and will get suspended if he gets into another fight. Josh hearing this becomes brave for a second, but cowards down quickly when Bully says, "But then again, maybe it just might be worth getting suspended for." Bully then tells Billy to meet him at the lot behind the ice-cream parlor so that they can fight, and then threatens to really hurt him if he decides not to show. Bully leaves telling him that he had better be there in fifteen minutes or else, and Billy is really scared. Sis knowing that Bully won't hit a girl, is the only one who isn't afraid of him. She tells him that her brother and friend aren't afraid of him, and that they could beat him up with one arm tied behind their backs, making Bully even more mad. While Bully is leaving, Josh begins to act tough, and Bully asks him if he wants to fight him too, but Josh cowards and says no. The boys begin to discuss the situation, and Josh says to himself, "What would Jesus do in this situation?" He then gets an idea, and tells Billy he now remembers that Mrs. Johnson told him to tell Billy that she wanted to see him after school. Billy asks what for, and Josh tells him he doesn't know, but that he had better go and see her. Billy leaves, and Josh goes to meet and fight Bully. Josh gets there first, and finding no Bully he gets big headed saying to himself, "Bully probably heard that he was going to have to fight me instead of Billy, and so he decided not to show up." While Josh is talking to himself, Bully quietly walks in, listens to what he has to say, and then taps him on the shoulder making Josh jump up in the air and scream. Bully then asks where Billy is. Josh tells him that he had to go somewhere. Bully says that he is mad and has to beat up somebody, and Josh tells him that is why he came, so that he can fight Bully instead of Billy. Josh tells him that he wouldn't want Bully to hurt his fist by continually hitting it against his face, so if he would like to back out of the fight, he would surely be understanding. Bully just looks at him, so Josh puts up his fists and Bully beats him up. (This is a good scene to have a strobe light for special effects if you have one.) Half way through the fight, while Josh is getting pounded, he asks Bully if he has had enough, and Bully says, "No." When the fight is over, Bully leaves, and Josh begins to crawl back to the front of the room, where Billy is just now coming out looking for Josh. He tells him that Mrs. Johnson didn't want him, and then asks what happened. Josh explains that he went to go fight Bully for him. Billy is grateful, and helps Josh up to take him home. (Characters: Joshua, Mom, Sis, and Billy.) Mom comes out and begins to clean the house, telling the kids that she has to get it ready for company. Josh comes in wearing rubber gloves and a clothes pin on his nose, carrying a shovel and paper bag. Mom asks Josh, "What is that smell, and what do you have in that paper bag?" Josh tells her the dog yuckie she told him to pick up in the back yard. He then asks her for his allowance. Mom chases him out and tells him to throw it in the garbage, and then to go and wash him hands. Sis comes in and tells Mom that she is done cleaning the kitchen. Mom gives Sis her allowance, thanking her for all her hard work. Joshua then peaks his head around the corner and asks if it is OK to come in. Mom asks if he threw away the dog yuckie and washed his hands. Josh says yes, and Mom tells him that he can come in. Mom thanks Josh also for all of his hard work in picking up the dog yuckie and gives him his allowance. Mom then tells the kids that she has to leave to go get some things from the store, and tells them not to get the house messy. Mom leaves and Josh and Sis begin talking about the money they have been saving up, and what each one is planning on buying Mom for Christmas. Sis says that she is going to buy Mom a (what ever you want, preferably something girlish that Sis plans on using herself like a toy dish set). Josh says he is going to buy Mom a cookie jar that he saw in the store that said, "Worlds Greatest Mom." His plan is that mom will fill the cookie jar with fresh homemade cookies. Sis tells him that he had better not do what he did last year and spend all the money on himself, and then get Mom some cheap last minute present. Sis leaves. Josh calls Billy on the phone to ask him if he wants to come over and play. Billy comes over and they begin to play. Josh stops and begins to talk about how excited he is about Christmas, and all of the presents he will be getting. Billy looks sad, and Josh asks him what is the matter. Billy tells him that his dad was just laid off at his job. His parents told him that because of the lay off and that they have to first pay all of their bills, that Billy probably won't be getting too many Christmas presents this year. Josh not understanding asks, "Your Dad lays down on his job?" Billy explains to Josh that his dad was fired, and starts to cry. He tells Josh he can't play anymore and leaves. Joshua pulls out the money that he has been saving for Mom's Christmas present, and decides to go over and give it to Billy's mom, so that she can buy him something for Christmas. Josh leaves. (Someone comes out with a sign that says Christmas Day.) Josh and Sis come out running and playing, chasing each other around. Mom comes out on stage, and answers the telephone which is ringing. Mom tells the kids to please go play in the other room, because she cannot hear the person on the phone. Josh and Sis leave. It is Billy's mom on the phone to thank Josh once again for what he has done. She tells Mom all about what happened and then tells her to please thank Joshua again for her. Josh and Sis come back out with their presents for Mom, and they all sit down and begin to open presents. Josh and Sis open their presents from Mom, and then Mom begins to open her presents from the kids. She starts with Sis's and then thanks her. She then opens Joshua's which is something really dumb and cheap (something out of a gumball machine). Sis exclaims, "I just knew you would waste your money on yourself and buy Mom something dumb." Josh just looks down on the floor, afraid to explain what happened. Mom looks at Joshua and tells him that she got a call from Billy's mom this morning, who told her everything that happened. She then tells Josh that what he did for Billy is one of the greatest presents she could have ever gotten. Josh begins to smile, and Mom asks the kids if they want to jump in the car and go for a ride to look at all of the Christmas lights. Everyone leaves. 29. PROOF THAT JESUS ROSE AGAIN (3:10) (This skit goes with the puppet skit on Clunky III, skit 11) (Characters : Joshua, Mom, Sis, and Bully.) Mom and Joshua enter the room with Mom carrying a jar of cookies. Josh asks Mom if he could possibly have one little cookie before supper, and Mom tells him no, "They are for the church fair, and besides we will be eating dinner shortly." Mom then tells Josh to go and clean his room, and the two of them leave. Bully sneaks into the room, and looking around, grabs a handful of cookies. He also does a couple other mean things while he is there like knock over the lamp ... etc. Bully hears a sound in the back of the stage, and quickly leaves. Mom enters the room, and gets upset when she sees the lamp has been knocked over. Then when she sees that some of the cookies are missing, she yells for the kids. Josh and Sis come running and ask what she wants. Mom asks the kids who it was that knocked over the lamp and ate the cookies. Mom and Sis then look at Josh. Josh tells Mom, "I was up in my room playing, I mean cleaning." Mom then asks Josh that if it wasn't he who knocked over the lamp and ate the cookies, who was it. Josh points a finger at Sis and says she might have done it, but Sis tells Mom that she was with her the whole time helping with the laundry. Mom now getting a little angry asks Josh if he would like to come up with another excuse. Josh says, "Maybe Bully came into the room, and took a handful of cookies, and knocked over the lamp just to be mean, and then when he heard you coming, he ran away." Mom then tells Josh that he has two choices, he can either confess to the fact that he ate the cookies, or he will get a spanking and be sent to his room for the rest of the evening. Josh continues to plead his innocence, "Have I ever lied to you before? Forget I asked that." Mom then drags Josh behind the stage with Josh continuing to plead his innocence. In the background, we hear the sound of Mom spanking Josh. The two come back out with Mom telling Josh to go to his room, and think about what he has done. Josh leaves, again telling her that he didn't do it. Mom leaves, amazed that even after getting spanked, he is still so stubborn. (Message with the skit. All of the disciple rather than to deny that Jesus did rise from the dead, died terrible deaths. One proof that Jesus was who he said he was, is that the disciples would not have been willing to die the deaths they died, if they were all telling a lie, and Jesus did not rise again.) List of what happened to the Apostles: Peter - crucified
(Characters : Joshua, Mom, Sis, Billy, crowd of kids, and a little girl.) Joshua comes out, sits down on the couch and begins to watch a television show called "America's Greatest Heroes." It is a show about people who do heroic acts. Josh leaves the stage thinking out loud, "Boy, it would be really cool to be a hero and save someone’s life." (Someone comes out with a sign that says "Joshua's Thoughts".) Joshua comes out with big muscles and cool sunglasses. While he is just kind of hanging around, Billy comes out and begins to choke on a cookie he is eating. Josh quickly goes over and gives him the Heimlich maneuver, thus saving his life. A crowd of people (some kids that you talked to before service) comes out and tells Josh how cool he is, and that he is a hero. Josh, Billy, and the kids leave with them heaping praises on Josh. (Someone comes out with a sign that says "Joshua's Thoughts".) Sis comes out, and while she is playing she suddenly stops and faints. Josh comes out, sees her lying there, notices that she isn't breathing, and tells the kids that she needs mouth to mouth resuscitation. He looks at the kids with a funny look on his face, but then (pretends) to give her mouth to mouth resuscitation. Sis recovers and again the crowd comes out and tells Josh that he is a hero. Josh, Sis, and the kids leave with them again heaping praises on Josh. (Someone comes out with a sign that says "Joshua's Thoughts".) Mom comes out and begins to clean the house when Bully comes out and tells her he wants all of her money. While Mom is being robbed by Bully, Josh comes out and seeing the robbery, walks up, starts to beat him up, and then throws him out of the house. Once again the crowd comes out and begins to praise Josh. Josh, Mom, and the kids leave. Josh now comes out dressed normally. He is sad because he realizes that he will probably never have a chance to do any of those things and be a hero and save someone's life. While he is sitting there sulking, a little girl comes out asking, "What is life all about anyway?" Josh looks at the kids and asks them, "Hey, what is more heroic than to help save someone's life by telling them about Jesus?" Josh then goes up to the little girl and begins to witness to her as the two of them walk off the stage. (Characters : Joshua, Mom, Sis, and Sally.) Joshua and Mom come out and Josh tells her that he has just made friends with one of the most popular and bestest looking girls in his school. He tells her that her name is Sally and she wants to come over and play sometime. Josh asks if it is OK to give her a call and invite her over. Mom says that she has to go to the store, but that if they will behave then it is OK with her. Josh calls her and she says she will be right over. Josh is excited and begins to spiffy himself up, and brushes his teeth with his finger. The door knocks, and Josh answers it and lets her in. Sally rudely asks him what they are going to play, and Josh says they could play duck duck goose or something fun like that. Sally gets mad and tells him that it is a little kid's game, and she wants to do something fun, like eat some of those cookies over there. Josh tells her that his Mom said he is not supposed to, but she talks him into it, telling him not to listen to his "Mommy" cause she ain't his boss. As they begin to eat the cookies, Sis comes out and seeing them, threatens to tell on them. Josh and Sally begin to chase Sis out off the stage. (Someone comes out with a sign that says, "The Next Day".) Josh and Mom come out, and Josh asks if Sally can come over and play again. Mom isn't sure, but Josh convinces her that he will behave, and Mom says OK. Josh gives Sally a call, and she comes over and asks what he wants to do. Just then Sis comes in and asks if she can play with the two of them. Sally then tells Josh the thing she wants to do is to pin down Sis and tickle her until she wets her pants. Josh says he can't do that for two reasons. The first is that she is wearing a dress and therefore can't wet her pants. The second is that Mom told him to be nice to his Sis while she is gone to the store. Again Sally talks him into it and they pin Sis on the ground and begin to tickle her (at first she just laughs, but then she starts to cry). Sis then gets up and runs out as Josh and Sally chase her. (Someone comes out with a sign that says, "The Next Day".) Josh comes out, and knowing that Mom will say no if he asks her for permission to have Sally over, decides to give her a call anyway. Sally comes over and asks what he wants to do. Josh tells her that he wants to play ball in the house. Sally asks him if he will get into trouble from his "Mommy" for it, and Josh says, "So what." Sally pats him on the back and tells him he is really starting to turn into a cool kid. They start to play and Josh accidentally knocks over the lamp. Just then, Mom walks in and gets after the kids, asking Josh what happened. Josh smarts off to her, and Mom tells him that he is in big trouble, and then tells Sally that she must go home now. Josh tells her that it was his fault, but Mom tells him that ever since he has been playing with her, he has been getting into trouble both at home and at school. She tells Josh that Sally has been a bad influence on him, and that unless she straightens herself out, she is not allowed to come over any more. They all leave with Josh still mad at Mom. (Characters : Joshua, Mom, Sis, and Billy. This skit takes place in Joshua's bedroom which is a mess, filled with piles of dirty clothes and junk.) Joshua comes in to his room, and throws some more clothes in a big pile. Mom comes in and tells Josh that his room is a disaster and that he really needs to clean it and make his bed. Josh tells Mom that even though it might look just a little bit messy, he knows exactly where everything is at, and that if he would clean it he would not know where everything is, and as to making his bed, why make it when he is just going to sleep in it anyway. Mom tells him that there is no way he could know where everything is in all of this mess, so Josh asks her to test him. She asks where his baseball is, and Josh looks around quickly and pulls it out from under a pile of clothes. Mom tells him that she should make him clean it up, but that it might be a better lesson if she just lets him keep it messy, and that some day it will come back to hurt him. Josh thanks her and tells her it will be no problem. Josh and Mom leave. Josh comes back in and begins to kick his clothes around looking for something when he finds a bag of potato chips, sits down and begins to eat them. Sis then comes in the room wearing a mask, rubber gloves, goggles and overalls. Josh asks her why she is dressed that way and Sis tells him cause she doesn't want to catch anything from all of the junk he has in there. Josh tells her that everything might be a little jungled up, but that doesn't mean it is dirty. Sis then asks him how long has that pair of shorts been sitting there, and Josh answers three weeks, but they are still clean. While Josh is talking to Sis the pair of shorts begin to move across the stage (there is a string attached to the shorts being pulled by someone behind stage.) Josh looks at Sis and asks, "Did you see that?" The shorts begin to move towards them and Josh and Sis jump up on the bed. They then jump off and quickly run out of the room. Josh comes in to the room with his baseball bat Charlie. The shorts move, and he begins to beat them with his bat. They move again and he gives them one last whack. He then goes over and pushes a pile of clothes laying on his bed and lays down. He sits up after a minute and pulls out a toy squirt gun and says, "That's where you have been." Josh is bored, and decides to give Billy a call and see if he wants to come over and play. Josh hangs up the phone and Billy comes over. Billy walks in the door and says, "Sorry, I thought this was Josh's room." closes the door, and leaves. Seconds later he opens the door back up and says, "Wow, what happened in here?" Josh tells him that his Mom said it was OK not to clean his room for a while. Josh then invites him in, and kicks and pushes over some old clothes, pulls out a couple of Twinkies and asks Billy if he wants one. Billy tentatively walks in tip-toeing, and kindly declines the Twinkies. Billy then asks Josh if he is done with that school essay which is due tomorrow. Josh says he has been working on it for the past two weeks and that he is sure he is going to get an A+. Josh then asks Billy what he wants to play, and Billy says anything outside. Josh asks why, and Billy says he is kind of afraid to play in his room on account he might get hurt and then no one will be able to find him. Josh and Billy leave. Josh comes in and begins frantically looking around for his school essay, throwing clothes and kicking stuff around. He leaves sure that he left it under his bed, but hoping that he maybe put it in his Mom and Dad's room. (Characters: Josh, Sis and Mom. You will need a painting, paint brushes, crayons and paper.) Josh and Sis come out arguing. Sis tells Josh that she is a way better artist than he is. Josh says no way, that he is better and he can prove it, "I evan got a C+ in art class for staying in the lines." Sis says, "Exactly." The two of them continue to argue when Mom comes in. She asks the kids what they are arguing about, and they tell her. Mom tells them that they are both very good artists. They ask who is the best, and Mom acts like a mom and says they are both good in their own way. She then tells them, "Hey, talking about artists, I need a picture of a pony for my preschool class in church tomorrow. Can one of you color me a picture?" Sis says, "I have a great idea, we can make a contest out of it. We can both paint a picture, and who ever has the best picture wins, and mom will use it for her class." Mom tries to talk them out of it, but Sis eggs on Josh, until he accepts. Josh then adds that Mom will even pay a dollar for the picture she uses." Again, Mom tries to talk them out of it, but then gives in. The kids leave to go get the stuff they need for painting a picture. Sis comes out wearing her painters outfit and carrying a picture on a isle (it is a real picture of some flowers or scenery, but faces it so the kids can't see it) and then begins to pretend to paint (Sis is wearing a big baggy white dress shirt, with a baseball cap on backwards). Josh comes out with his crayons and some paper and then sits on the floor and starts to color. He looks over at Sis, and then turns his baseball cap backwards as well. She stops every once in a while and closes one eye and sticks her thumb in the air like an aritist would do. Sis tries to look at Josh's picture, but he covers it up with his hand so she can't see. Josh then tries to look at Sis's picture, but she turns the isle so Josh can't see. Josh starts over a couple of times, and throws away his old pictures, throwing some of them at Sis, who just moves further away. They both finish with Sis covering her picture with a blanket, and Josh flipping his picture over. Sis then calls for Mom, and she comes in excited about the pictures. Josh goes first, and flips his picture over for Mom and the kids to see. It is a picture of a stick horse with some trees and grass that looks like a preschooler colored it. Mom politely tells Josh that it is very good, while Sis bursts out laughing. Sis then says it is her turn and uncovers her picture. It is a beautiful picture of some flowers or scenery. Mom is amazed and tells Sis that her picture is very very beautiful. Josh bows his head and starts to walk off saying he knows who's picture Mom is going to pick, but Mom stops him and says, "Well actually Josh, I pick yours." Josh stops dead in his tracts, and Sis says, "What?" and just stands there with her mouth hanging wide open. Mom then continues, "Yes, I said I needed a picture of a horse, and though Sis's picture is very very beautiful, it is not a horse. But your picture Josh, the preschool kids will love it." Mom then gives Josh the dollar, and they all leave with Sis demanding a second vote. 34. SOME SOW, WATER, AND REAP (1:9) (Characters : Joshua, Mom, Sis, and Billy .) Josh, Mom, Sis and Billy come out arguing about who it was who was responsible for leading Billy to the Lord. Sis says that it was she, and begins to tell her side of the story as they leave the room. (Some one comes out with a sign that says "Sis' Side of the Story" as they come back out and begin to act out the way it was according to Sis.) Josh and Mom come in, then Sis comes in with Billy acting like an angel and saying "Mummy dearest, I saw this nice little boy outside playing, and asked him if he would like to come over and play with us." She tells how that she has witnessed to him about the Lord, and has brought him in for Josh and Mom to witness to also. Billy tells Mom and Josh about how wonderful a person and witness Sis is and that she has convinced him to become a Christian. Josh says things like, "Wow, I wish I could be like Sis" and goes over to kiss her feet. Josh nonchalantly asks him if he wants to accept Jesus, and Billy looks at Sis who explains to him that means to ask Jesus into his heart like she told him, and Billy says yes. Mom then shoves her way in telling the kids that she as the adult is the one that should lead him into the prayer, and Billy looks to Sis who again shakes her head and tells him to go ahead. Mom leads him in the prayer. They all leave with everyone saying how that they all wish they could be like Sis. Later in the service they all come back in, with Josh telling her that she got the whole thing all wrong, "Number one, I would never get down and kiss your feet." Josh then begins to straighten her out on the real facts of how Billy was saved. They all leave as Josh begins to tell his side of the story. (Some one comes out with a sign that says "Josh's Side of the Story" as they come back out and begin to act out they way it was according to Josh.) Sis comes in with Billy and tells Josh that she met this new kid in the block and tried to witness to him, but that he is to stupid to understand her, and she shoves him over to Josh saying maybe he will understand Josh beings that they are of the same brain capacity. Josh then begins to witness to Billy, (Josh speaks with a Southern Baptist Minister's voice) answering questions he has. Josh then takes him to Mom, and explains to her how that Billy is ready to accept the Lord, and being that Josh is so humble and modest, he would allow Mom the privilege of leading him in the sinner's prayer. Mom begins to thank Josh saying how that Josh always gets to lead people to the Lord, and that this will make her whole day. Josh tells her, "No problem Mother dearest. In this way I get two birds with one stone, Billy becomes a Christian, and you grow in the Lord as you learn to witness." She then asks Josh what to do, and Josh whispers in her ear what she should say to lead Billy to the Lord. They all leave with Billy and everyone thanking and praising Josh. Later in the service they all come back in, and Mom tells the kids that she loves the kids' imaginations, but that she will have to straighten them out on the real facts of how Billy was saved. They all leave with Mom telling her side of the story. (Some one comes out with a sign that says "Mom's Side of the Story" as they come back out and begin to act out they way it was according to Mom.) Sis comes in with Billy and tells Josh that she met a new kid in the block and tried to witness to him, but that she is just a little child, and doesn't exactly know what to do, so she brings him to Josh saying maybe he will understand Josh. Josh then tries to witnesses to him, but is also unable to explain properly, and brings him then to Mom. As she witnesses to him, the three kids stare at her in anticipation and then begin to applaud when she is done. Billy then asks her if he can accept the Lord and Josh and Sis also ask if they can accept the Lord again. Mom tells Josh and Sis that they have already accepted the Lord, and they tell her that she was so convincing and anointed, that they want to do it again. She says it isn't necessary, and then tells Billy that she would love to lead him. She then says a very religious, pious, important sounding sinners prayer, with Billy, Josh, and Sis repeating. They leave heaping praises on her. Sis sows the seed, Josh waters the seed, and Mom harvests the seed. All of them are very important, but non of them is more important than the others. (Characters : Joshua, Mom, Sis, and Billy .) Joshua, Sis and Billy come out talking about the possibility of going over to Billy’s house for a slumber party next Friday. As they are talking about all the fun they are going to have, Mom comes in and they ask her for permission go. Mom tells them that they cannot. She reminds them of the trouble they got into when they spent the night as Ashlee’s house, and tells them that until they can prove to her that they will behave themselves, they cannot go over to anyone’s house to spend the night. Mom then apologizes to Billy and leaves. The kids are upset and begin to make up a plan on how they can fool Mom into letting them spend the night. Their plan is to lie to Mom and tell her that they are going to a baseball game, and ask her permission to go there. (Someone comes out with a sign that says, "Friday Night at Billy’s House.") The kids come back out, and are acting like they are playing on Billy’s bed (a table with blankets and pillows). They decide it is time to call up Mom and lie to her about being at the game. Sis does the talking and tells her that the baseball game is going into extra innings. She asks if they can spend the night at Billy’s house rather than to go home being it is so late. While Sis is talking to Mom on the phone, Josh and Billy are making baseball noises like; "Hey batter batter." "Peanuts, Popcorn, Goolash?" And other sounds like the crowd screaming and clapping. Mom believes them and tells them that it is OK with her if it is OK with Billy’s Mom. As soon as they hang up, Josh falls off the bed and hurts himself (we like to use ketchup hidden behind the bed to make it look like Josh really hurt himself). They call Mom back up and tell her Josh just got hurt, and ask her to come and pick them up. Mom asks which gate they will be at, but they tell her that they are at Billy’s house. Mom hangs up the phone to go get them, the kids leave to go meet Mom. They come back into the house with Sis saying, "Boy the traffic was terrible, wasn’t it Mom?" Mom doesn’t answer. Josh tells Mom, "Boy, its a good thing I only sprained my leg and didn’t break it, huh Mom?" Again Mom doesn’t answer. The kids look at each other afraid because they know they lied and that they are in trouble. Mom finally speaks up and tells the kids that she is disappointed at them and doesn’t know what to say. She tells them she bought tickets to the fair, but for their punishment she will now give them to their cousins. The kids tell her that they are sorry and that they will never do it again. She thanks them for apologizing, but tells them that it will be a long time before she will ever be able to trust either one of them. Mom then leaves. Josh tells Sis, "I don’t know which punishment is worse, not going to the fair, or not having my own mom trust me any more." Sis says, "I am never going to tell a lie again." Both kids leave. (Characters : Joshua, Mom, Sis, and Billy. You will also need ten one dollar bills.) Joshua comes out playing with Billy. They stop to take a break, and Billy tells Josh about a baseball card that he saw on sale at a garage sale, how that it is a rare Rookie card of George Brette when he played on the Omaha Royals, and that he told the guy that if he would hold onto it for him, he would get the money and buy it, but that it has been a day, and he still doesn’t have enough money for the card. Josh asks him how much more he needs and Bill tells him $2. Josh pulls out $10 that he has been saving up to go to the fair with, but takes out $2 and gives it to Billy so that he can go buy the card. Both boys leave. (Someone comes out with a sign that says, "Two Days Later.") Josh comes out with Sis who tells Josh that she has been invited to a birthday party for her very best friend, and that she saw this really cool dolly at the store but that Mom only gave her $5 so she is going to have to buy this dumb looking doll instead. Josh asks her how much more the dolly costs, and Sis tells him it costs $7, so she needs $2 more. Josh pulls out the eight dollars he has left, and gives Sis $2. Both kids leave. (Someone comes out with a sign that says, "Two Days Later.") Josh comes out with Mom who is on her way to the store to go get some cough medicine for Sis, and telling Josh to please watch out for his sister and take care of her while she is gone. She looks in her purse and then realizes that she doesn’t have anymore checks, and begins to panic on how she is going to pay for the medicine. Josh asks her how much the medicine costs, and Mom says about $5. Josh pulls out the $6 he has left, and gives five to Mom, who thanks him and then runs to the store. Josh leaves when he hears Sis crying in the back. (Someone comes out with a sign that says, "Day of the Fair.") Josh comes out the day of the fair and opens his piggy bank only to find $1 in it. Billy comes over to play, but Josh is not in the mood, and when he is asked why he explains to Billy that it costs $8 to get into the fair, and he only has one, and that he has been looking forward to this fair ever since last year. Josh leaves crying. Mom and Sis come in, and Mom asks Billy what was the matter with Josh. Billy explains, and then tells Mom that he got $15 for mowing his lawn every week this month, and would gladly not only pay Josh back the two dollar that Josh gave him, but give him a couple of dollars more just because he really needed that $2 for the card. Sis also tells Mom that she borrowed $2 dollars from Josh for the dolly, and that she would give him her entire weeks allowance of $3 to help him out. Mom tells the two kids that she also borrowed $5.00 from Josh for the cough medicine for Sis the other day, and that if they would give Josh that money, which comes up to $8, then she would pay for their way, and then give Josh his money back. Mom calls in Josh, and the two kids give Josh the money, and Mom gives him $10 and tells him that it is for him to spend on anything he wants, and then afterwards, she is going to take them all out for pizza. 37. TURNING BAD INTO GOOD (4:3) (Characters : Joshua, Mom, Sis, and Billy.) Joshua comes home with a paper that says he is getting a D- in English class. He has to have Mom sign it, so he tries to slip it past her while she is busy, but Mom stops and asks what she just signed. Josh casually tells her, "It was just a note to show how I is doing in English class, nothing important." Mom says, "How I am doing Josh. It is how I am doing. Now let me see it." Josh reluctantly shows her, and Mom gets upset at Josh and tells him that he had better get his grades up or that she will be forced to take him off the baseball team, take away his Nintedo, and then give him a spanking as well. Mom and Josh leave to go to his room and look at his homework assignment. (Someone comes out with a sign that says "One Week Later".) Josh comes out playing with Billy. They talk about how fun baseball practice was, with Billy laughing at Josh because of how bad he was at catching the ball. Billy rehearses Josh's goof up, running around in circles, acting like he gets hit in the head with the ball, and then laughs even harder every time he looks at Josh. Billy then asks Josh if he wants to go and hit some more balls out back. Josh says he can't until he gets his homework done first. He tells Billy that he just doesn't understand his homework assignment. Billy tells him that if he would like, he would be more than willing to help Josh with his homework, and then they could go out and hit the ball. Josh thinks that is great, being that Billy gets an A in English. The two boys leave to go study with Billy still laughing. (Someone comes out with a sign that says "Three Week Later".) Later, Mom comes in with Josh and Sis fighting as usual. Joshua tells Sis to give him his baseball back, and Sis says, "Here catch. Oops, maybe I should just hand it to you instead" and begins to imitate Josh running in circles and then getting hit in the head with the ball. Josh chases her, and Sis runs behind Mom. Mom tells them to quit fighting with each other, and then asks if they would like to go to Skatetown for the Christian Skate Night. Sis quickly says yes, but Josh disappointedly tells Mom that he has to do his homework. Mom tells Josh that he could skip it for one night, but Josh tells her that his essay on "Who is Your Favorite Hero and Why" is due tomorrow, and that he put Jesus as his favorite hero. He knows that the teacher will have to read it, so he really wants to make it extra special, and besides, they have their final test tomorrow as well. Mom tells him that she will drop Sis at Skatetown, and will then come back with a pizza and help Josh with his essay and studying. Sis complains saying, "How come Josh gets pizza?" And Mom asks her if she would like to stay and have pizza and help Josh with his homework, or go skating? Sis says skating, and they all leave. (Someone comes out with a sign that says "Report card Day".) Joshua comes in with a backpack and lunch pail calling for Mom. She comes in and Josh hands her a piece of paper he thinks is his report card. Mom reads out loud, "Dear Josh, You are the cutest boy..." Josh quickly grabs it and says, "Wrong paper" and then hands her his report card. She reads and finds that Josh got a B- in his English class. Mom is excited, and Josh hands her another piece of paper. Mom reads it, and finds out that Josh made the honor roll for the first time. Joshua then hands her one last note written from the teacher... Dear Mrs. Christianson, I would just like to take this time to compliment you and your son Joshua on how hard he has worked, how well he has behaved, and what a pleasure it was to have him in my class. I would also like to tell you what a pleasure it was to read Joshua's essay on Jesus being his favorite hero and why. It was so inspiring. My husband and I have been looking for a good church to go to, and I was thinking, it would be nice to come and visit your church maybe this Sunday. Again, you should be very proud of your son. Sincerely,
Mom is so proud of Josh that she asks him if he would like to maybe go to the store and buy a new game for his computer. Mom and Josh leave. (Characters : Joshua, Sis, and Billy.) Joshua, Billy and Sis come out and begin filling out forms for a chance to win two weeks of free tickets to watch their city's baseball team. They all talk about how cool it would be if one of them wins, and they all get to go to the games for free and meet the players on the team. They leave to go mail their entrees. (Someone comes out with a sign that says, "One Week Later.") Joshua, Billy and Sis come out with an envelope with Joshua’s name on it. It is a letter that says he is the winner of the two weeks of free tickets. They all begin to jump up and down with excitement. Just then, the phone rings. Sis answers it, and tells Josh it is Suzy Smith. Josh asks, "Who?" Sis tells him, "You know, that snotty pretty girl that is a major snob and is always mean to you in school." Josh begins to talk to her on the phone. She tells him that she heard on the radio that Josh had won the tickets, and she asks him if he wants to come over to her house later and play. She tells him that two other really cool kids are coming over too, and she wants them to meet Josh. Josh tells her sure, and then hangs up the phone. Sis asks why she called, and Josh tells her that she wants him to come over and play. Sis and Billy try to tell Josh that the only reason she wants to be friends with him is because he won the tickets. Joshua becomes defensive and tells them that maybe she wants him to come over and play because she finally realized how cute and cool he really is. Sis walks over, knocks on Josh’s head and says, "Hello, is anyone in there?" Josh tells them that they are just jealous of his new cool friends, and that he is leaving. Billy and Sis try to warn him some more, but Josh leaves. (Someone comes out with a sign that says, "One Week Later.") Josh comes out wearing his baseball cap and glove, ready to go to the first of his free games. Billy and Sis come out also wearing their baseball caps, and ask him what time they are leaving. Josh tells them that he is going to the game with his new cool friends. Sis and Billy say, "But we said that if one of us wins the tickets, all of us get to go." Josh tells them that they are not cool enough to be seen with him, and that they are just going to have to watch the game on TV. Josh leaves with Sis and Billy mad. Sis and Billy also leave with Sis yelling, "I hope you get hit in the head by a foul ball." (Someone comes out with a sign that says, "One Week Later.") Josh comes out wearing his cap and glove. Sis and Billy come out, but they are not wearing their caps. They ask Josh if he is going to the game with his dorky friends. Josh tells them, "Yes, I mean no, I am going to the game with my cool friends, and today is the day we get to meet all the players after the game." Billy hangs his head and mumbles, "I always wanted to meet those guys." Sis tells Josh, "I hope you choke on your hot dog at the game." Josh leaves with Billy and Sis following him. (Someone comes out with a sign that says, "One Week Later.") Josh comes out excited that today is his birthday, and wonders what he is going to do with his cool new friends. Sis and Billy come out and they all look at each other and sigh. Josh tells them that he is going to call his new friends and see what cool and exciting stuff they are going to do on his birthday. Josh calls up Suzy, but she rudely asks him what he wants. He tells her that today is his birthday and he was just wondering what she and all the other cool kids are going to do today. She tells Josh that she and all the other cool kids are going to the park, but she is not sure what HE is going to do today. Josh asks her, "Aren’t you going to invite me?" She asks him if he has anymore free tickets to the baseball games. Josh tells her no, and she tells him that she isn’t going to invite him, "See you later looser." Suzy hangs up. Josh hangs up the phone and begins to hang his head in shame. Sis asks, "So what are you gonna do with your dorky bratty new friends?" Josh tells her, "Nothing. You and Billy were right, they were only being my friends to go to the baseball games for free. I should have never left the best friends in the whole world. Could you ever forgive me?" Billy says, "Cool." Josh looks at Billy and says, "What is so cool about that?" Billy tells him, "We kind of thought they would do that, so we planned a birthday party for you. And it wouldn’t be fun to have a birthday party if the birthday boy is gone." Billy and Sis pull out birthday hats and horns, and show Josh the presents that they bought for him. Josh wipes away a tear and asks them why. Billy tells him, "Sis and I talked about it, and came to the conclusion that we probably would have done the same thing if we were in your shoes. We figured that your new friends would dump you, so we would be there to help you up." Josh tells them that they are the very best friends he has, and that he is going to kiss them both. Billy and Sis look at each other and then run off the stage screaming. Josh follows them and says, "OK, how about just a hug?" (Characters : Joshua, Sis, Billy and Bully.) Joshua comes out sad and carrying his binki (his blanket from when he was a little kid.) Sis comes out and asks him what is wrong, and then begins to make fun of Josh for his binki, telling him that he is too old for it, "I am two years younger than you, and I don’t even have a binki." Joshua tells her that he has had a bad week, and that whenever he gets sad, he likes to hold his binki because it comforts him and reminds him of good times when he was a little kid and didn’t have little sisters to bother him. Sis continues to tease him, but Josh just ignores her and leaves. After Josh leaves, Billy comes by looking for Josh. Sis tells him he is in his room with his binki. Billy asks, "What is a binki?" and Sis tells him. Billy begins to laugh as Josh comes back out and asks Billy what is so funny. Billy looks at Josh carrying his binki and begins to laugh louder telling Josh that he heard that he had a safety blanket but that he didn’t believe it until he saw him. Billy begins to laugh even louder, falling to the ground and holding his stomach, really making fun of Josh, calling him a baby and telling him he wouldn’t be caught dead with a stupid blanket like that. Sis jumps in and tells him that it isn’t even a very good blanket, and that she wouldn’t even give a nickel for it. Josh just looks at Billy and Sis, holds his binki to his cheek, starts to suck his thumb, and then walks away. Sis and Billy laugh even more. When they finally quit laughing, Sis tells Billy that she is embarrassed for him. Billy says, "Do you know who would love to see this, and at the same time could scare him out of it? Bully!" Billy and Sis leave to go tell Bully. Sis and Billy come in with Bully and call for Josh. Josh comes up and Bully begins to laugh at him also. Josh starts to walk away, but Bully stops him. He begins to tell Josh that he is a sissy and a baby for having a binki and that he needs to get rid of it. Josh turns and starts to walk away again, but Bully again stops him. Bully then tells Josh that he will even buy his stupid binki from him. Josh again starts to walk away, but once again Bully stops him. This time though, Bully grabs the binki away from Josh and begins to walk away with it. Josh grabs Bully to keep him from leaving. Bully tells him he had better let go of him or he is going to regret it. Josh tells Bully that he had better give him binki or else. Bully asks him, "Or else what?" Josh tells him, "I do not want to have to use force, but if you don’t give me binki, you are not going to like it." Bully says, "What is a little pip-squeak like you going to do to make me give you your blanket back? Hit the road little pip-squeak." Josh then grabs Bully by the shirt and shoves him up against the wall. Joshua politely tells him to give him his binki back or he will be forced to have to fight for it. Bully says, "Man, I have never seen you act this way. Here, take your stupid binki back. You’re a fanatic." Bully then leaves. Josh thanks him and tells him to come back again. Billy and Sis apologize to Josh, telling him that they didn’t realize just how much his binki meant to him. Billy tells him that he is impressed with the fact that Josh was willing to stand up against Bully and fight him even though it probably meant he would have gotten his clock cleaned. Josh realizes what he just did and faints. Billy and Sis revive Josh, they leave to go play. (Characters : Joshua, Mom, Sis and Billy.) Josh, Sis and Billy come out excited that tomorrow is club day at school, the day in which you can sign up for different clubs. Sis says she is going to sign up for the debate club, Billy says he is going to sign up for the math club, and Josh says he is going to sign up for all the clubs. Billy tells Josh that he can’t sign up for all of them, that he won’t have enough time. Josh snootily says he knows, he is just going to sign up for all of them, then he will pick out the ones he likes best, and drop the others. The kids leave to prepare, excited about tomorrow’s events. (Someone comes out with a sign that says, "Next Day".) Josh comes out dejected. Sis comes
out wearing a T-shirt that says, "Honorary Debate Club Member." She
says, "Hey Josh, look at my new shirt. I am now an official member
of the debate club. Did you get a shirt too?" Josh tells her
no, that he didn’t quite make it into that club. Just then there
is a knock at the door. It is Billy, and he is carrying a certificate
that reads, "Honorary Member of the Math Club." He proudly shows
it to Josh and Sis, who shows him her shirt. He then also asks Josh
if he got a certificate also? Again, Josh says no, that he didn’t
make it into that club either. Sis and Billy then ask Josh which
one of the clubs did he make it into? Josh sits silently. Billy
asks, "Did you get into the Honor Roll club?" Josh says, "My grades
weren’t good enough." Sis asks, "Did you get into the spelling club?"
Josh just rolls his eyes, and Sis says, "Forget I asked that question."
Billy then says, "Well you had to have made it into the after school club,
because they don’t exclude anyone. Even Bully made it into that club,
of course he usually has to stay after school anyway." Josh says
he was going to, but by the time he got there it was too late, there was
no more room. Sis then laughingly says, "Are you telling me that
the guy who was supposed to make it into all the clubs and then choose
which ones he would ‘grace with his presence’ didn’t make it into any clubs?"
Again, Josh just sits there with no answer. Sis continues, "I think
that is the first time in the history of the school that someone did not
make it into any club. You will have to start your own club, the
‘I Can’t Make It Into A Club Club.’" Josh gets up mad and stands
up, and Sis runs out laughing. Billy says, "You’ll have to admit,
that was kind of funny." Josh looks angrily at him also, and Billy
says, "Just leaving." Billy leaves. Josh sits back down on
his chair, and Mom comes in. She asks Josh how his day went, and
Josh tells her lousy. She asks, "Wasn’t today club day at the school?"
Josh says yes, and Mom asks which club did her handsome little son join.
Josh tells her none, and then tells her that her handsome little son is
a big ugly looser because he couldn’t make it into any of the clubs, "I
couldn’t even make it into the after school club, and Bully even made that
one, granted he usually has to stay after school anyway." Mom sits
down beside Josh and tells him, "That’s not true, there is one club I am
pretty sure your in." Josh asks, "Which club is that?" Mom
answers, "The one with the coolest leader, and the only one that really
matters." Josh looks at her puzzled. Mom continues, "God has
a club, and the only way to make it into his club is to have your name
written in a special book, it is called the book of life. The Bible
tells us, that if you accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior, then your name
will be put into that book, and you will belong to the most special, and
everlasting club … with God." Josh tells her, "I have accepted Jesus."
And Mom answers, "Then you are in the coolest club of them all. By
the end of the year, all of the clubs at school will be done with, but
God’s club lasts forever." Josh complains, "But all the cool kids
are in those other clubs at school." Mom says, "Well now, let me
list just a few of the people in God’s club. Lets see, there is Adam,
Noah, Moses, King David, and all the apostles." Josh interrupts,
"Those are all Bible people." Mom says, "Now let me finish, there
is also Bob Smith the baseball player, and Miles Jones the football player,
and I think Michael Peterson the basketball player." Josh interrupts
her again, "Those guys are in that club?" Mom says, "Everyone who
accepts Jesus as their Lord and Savior. Sounds to me like a club
I might even want to join. And I did too." Josh smiles and
says, "You always know how to make me feel better." Mom says, "Get
your jacket and we will run down to the school and talk to Principal Johnson
and see if there are any of those unimportant clubs at school you might
still be able to join too." Josh smiles and leaves to get his jacket.
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